A Post-Blog Guy Venting Session

It’s really crazy how a guy can make you feel so bad about yourself. I hate admitting the truth in that statement, but no matter how awesome, inside and out, I think I am, if a guy, especially one I really like, blows me off, all of that awesomeness can be swiftly broken down.

I’ve been really happy lately… truly happy. However, this past week I’ve been feeling really down on myself. This is because last Friday I had a very special date with a guy that I reallyyy liked. I think it would be better to start from the beginning…

Let’s call this guy AJ. AJ is a guy that I had met awhile back through a mutual friend. The first time AJ and I met we had this instant insane chemistry and attraction to one another. The only problem was that he had a girlfriend. Both of us were respectable and kept a fairly safe distance, although it was difficult to not be just a little touch-feely when we were around each other. Then he broke up with his girlfriend. Then we serendipitously ran into each other while he was standing on the wrong street corner to meet his friend. And then he called me (yes called, not texted) and asked me out on a date in the cutest way possible.

Sure, the date probably could have gone a bit better. I had just gotten off work for the week and was tired, I was bloated from Aunt Flo, I was pretty nervous (so was he), and I ended up getting too drunk. But even with allll that, the date was still better than most. Okay it was amazing. We had fun, we couldn’t physically control ourselves around each other, it was all very cute. The next day he texted me with a funny little message.

I think we all know where this is going… although I didn’t at the time. There was nothing. All week, nothing. I texted him a funny pic towards the end of the week and all I got back was very short, nothing answers. Nothing. There it is, the writing on the wall, the thing I, once again, did not expect to happen. And why would I, I’m off in fairy la la land, where sometimes things are too good to be false.

So it happened. But this isn’t about the guy, he is young and just broke up with a longtime girlfriend… and yes he should be out and having fun right now. No, this is about the fact that it killed my confidence for exactly one week, and how shitty that really is. It’s kinda sad when a great night turns into a blah week, but it happens. It may sound stupid… but if you’ve ever been there you know that feeling. And I think most of us have.

Hey, maybe it’s just the endorphins running on such a high that makes your normal levels feel like mass depression for a week after… like returning home from a really great trip.

This post certainly isn’t a how-to. I really just wrote it to vent. Honestly I wouldn’t know the first thing about turning that feeling off, besides to say to just not care. And at times you don’t care, it goes back and forth. But unfortunately, and fortunately, I’m one of those romantics who sometimes feels things too deeply. Now that I’m pretty much over it though, I really just think whatever, I’m fucking awesome and I know it.

The only advice I will give is to just try to remember that most of the time it really isn’t you. They just broke up with a girlfriend, or act like they’re two years old or whatever it is… Feel what you’re gonna feel, for a week. And then realize the real reason why this guy is unavailable, which probably has nothing to do with you, and then remember how fucking incredible you are. Because you are.

Standard

Story Time Children: The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

Disclaimer: If you are in fact a child, you should not be reading this.

I have been PMS’ing these past couple of days (haha sorry dudes!!), so naturally I’ve been feeling nostalgic. I’ve been having all of these dreams and thoughts about people from my past, parties from many moons ago, and men that have come in and out of my life. Wait, switch that, I mean boys, not men.

So, with all of this nostalgia running through my veins, I thought that I would share with you, dear readers, one of the worst and one of the best dates that I’ve ever had in my life. Let’s start with the worst… and save “the best” for last.

One of the worst dates I’ve ever had was with a Doctor. You would naturally think that dating a doctor would be one of the best moves of any girl’s dating career, and excited I was, as it was my first doctor ever. The only one more excited than me for this date was my mother, of course. This was actually already kind of our second date. The first time we hung out, after meeting at a bar, was just for drinks and it went very well. He was extremely handsome, drove a very nice car, and was actually older than me!! That’s right, older than me (those of you reading this that actually know me will not believe that, and I accept that).

So, once again, I was excited to have this second date with the doctor. So, he picks me up… everything seems great, and we head out to the restaurant. Sushi is on the menu, which I find, like most people, to be a sexy kind of food to eat… and I was ready to feel sexy. By the time we got to the restaurant the doctor had begun sweating, kind of profusely, but I let that slide. We were seated right away at the restaurant, and then immediately following, the doctor excused himself to the restroom. Okay, that’s normal. But what wasn’t so normal was that he then spent probably, oh, the next fifteen or so minutes in there. I think the waiter came to our table twice during that time, and I really didn’t know what to say.

When he finally returned to the table he was sweating even more than before… like his face was pretty red and sweat was glistening off of it. I tried to conceal my expression, which was probably a mixture between confusion and horror. Obviously I didn’t conceal it too well, because he then felt the need to explain to me exactly what was going on with his body… in great detail. Apparently as soon as he turned 30 (and that’s why I don’t date older guys ;p) he began to have very strange bowel movement problems that had really been affecting his stomach, and thus his dates, he revealed to me. Now this guy was a doctor, so he then felt the need to get all scientific about it, and actually explain in great detail what was going on inside his body. I seriously wanted to throw up at this point, and we hadn’t even eaten. Both of us had a hard time eating that night: him because of his “bowel movement problems” and me because of having to listen to him talk about it.

I actually felt sorry for the guy though (I mean that really sucks), and have been accused of being overly nice, so I didn’t show him how disgusted I felt. I went along with it as much as I could and even played it off like it wasn’t a big deal. I think really, for me, it was the sweating that really got to me. The craziest part was that after all of that, dropping me off at the end of the night, HE ACTUALLY TRIED TO KISS ME!! I let him peck me, which was not easy, and I think I then pretty much slammed the door in his face. I think he got the point.

I know what you’re thinking, poooor doctor… but poor me!! That was supposed to be like a totally cool, marriage material doctor for me to rub in people’s faces. Oh well… and I haven’t dated a doctor since, go figure!

To calm your now probably repulsed nerves, I will tell you about a great date I once had. And it did also involve sushi.

There was a guy that I had had a hugeee crush on forever. I thought he was such a heartthrob, but he had dated this girl I knew for a long time, so I could only admire him from afar. Whenever we would see each other though, we would get along really well, and the night would usually end with him teaching me how to beatbox. Well they broke up, and I didn’t see him for a long time… that is until one of us found the other on facebook (maybe it was even still MySpace at that time… yeah I just said MySpace!!).

We began talking and we exchanged numbers. Right off the bat he was texting me things about how he had these very strong feelings for me for some reason. He just had this “feeling”. This was really exciting to me as I’d never had a guy be so forward with me, especially one that I was so unbelievably attracted to. He asked me to come out (okay, he didn’t have a car waa waaaa) to see him that night and go to Sushi with him. I couldn’t refuse. I was schvitzing by the time I got out to see him… butterflies were swirling all around inside my stomach. But when I saw him it was all so comfortable. We had a great dinner and conversation, as if we’d done it a million times. It just really felt right.

After dinner he said that we should take a drive down to the beach, and who was I to argue. I liked that he was a guy that took charge and made decisions! He also wanted to drive… okay! As we were driving through the canyon down to the beach, he suddenly looked over at me and told me to kiss him. I said, “You want me to kiss you right now while you’re driving?!” He puckered his lips. We shared our first kiss then. It was funny, but pretty great.

At the beach it was beautiful, and dark, and cold. We grabbed a blanket and headed down closer to the water. We talked a lot walking around, and then finally laid our blanket down and started making out. It was something I had wanted for so long, and it was sooo good. So basically we ended up doing it right there on the beach. HA! I was totally not myself that night!! But he really brought that side out of me.

We ended up dating for a year after that, and I shared many firsts with him. The person that he ended up becoming is a whole other, and much more sad, story… but I will always have that perfect first date. 🙂 ❤

Wow, now I’m feeling REALLY nostalgic.

Standard

“Acting Demure” or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb

I’ve always wanted to reference Dr. Strangelove in one of my titles, and now that I have, I can move on with my life…

I would like to now tell you that my brain is a jumbled mess right now. I keep hearing all of these different tips about dating and how women should act when trying to attract the opposite sex… are things really so cut and dry? Like, just follow these simple little rules and you will meet the man of your dreams? I know that men are very simple creatures (sorry guys, although most will probably look at that as a compliment), so maybe there is something to these rules. But I for one, am much more complex, and I think I am far too complex of a person for these rules. According to one of these books that means that I am undateable and will never find a suitable mate. Well, I already knew that I was undateable, but I guess I was just kind of hoping that I could find someone as weird as me, so that we could be weirdos together and have this awesomely goofy life… I think something like that wouldn’t come from a book anyways.

But, why the hell not humor ourselves by discussing some of these rules that I have been hearing, because although I may not be able to follow most of them, apparently if you do you can get like any guy you want… pretty awesome!

I recently came across a very interesting and hysterical dating blog about a woman who found this book from 1995 called, “The Rules”(http://ifollowedtherules.wordpress.com/category/rule-1/). This book has mapped out the very strict and specific guidelines that you MUST adhere to if you want to “catch the guy”. Now, first of all, let’s not jump to conclusions on me being THAT undateable… trust me, I get guys, plenty of them. In fact, I mostly think that me being far too picky is what keeps me single for the most part. Well, that and being super shy. Ask any of my friends and they’ll tell you that I’m the least shy, and most social, person they know. But there’s just something that changes me into this shy, and dare I say frightened, little bunny when put around desirable males. That shell needs to be popped right open! However, when I do find a guy that I am comfortable with, then it’s typically a good sign. Okay, breaking off of that tangent, apparently being shy is not such a bad thing. Oh wait, did I say shy? No no, I meant to say “demure”. Oh yeah, demure… that basically sounds like being shy, but it’s like the fancy version of being shy… I’m not too fancy. To get specific with these first set of rules, here they are exactly:

In order to get a guy, you must be “A Creature Unlike Any Other”… okay, I think I can fuck with that… way to be demure right there…

I MUST:

1. Be demure

2. Pretend I’m a Movie Star

3. Build Myself Up with Slogans like, “I am a beautiful woman. I am enough.”

4. Be mysterious

Now, I may be shy at times, but I am just none of these things!! My friend had a good point with this stuff when I told her about it. She said, “So, you act like these things to get the guy and then you go out with him and show him your true self, and then he’s like who is this loud and crazy person?!” That does seem to pose some problems? I was going to try an experiment trying to put these rules to use, but then I realized that I’m not sure if I CAN even act like this haha. I strongly encourage any of you to try these things out though, and best of luck to you! I’ve said it once, and I’ll say it again, experiments are the BEST!!

I was next given advice by one of my friends who was told this by another friend of hers. Her friend had told her that when she is in any location where she is trying to attract a guy, she mentally and physically “leads” with her womb. I assume this means to kind of envision yourself doing this, like sourcing your energy towards that lower nether region. Supposedly this energy is all the rage with the guys. She was on a date with this really hot guy and things were going well, but he wasn’t making any moves. Then she remembered, oh yeah, that thing about leading with your womb. And she said that as soon as she did it, suddenly he was all like, “I don’t know why, but I want to kiss you so bad right now!” Obviously she was like Yeah! I think this one is easy enough for even ME to try out!! It’s kinda funny, but hey, I am all about energy sourcing.

This last one is for both guys and girls, and taken from a phenomenally awesome independent film made in 2000 titled, “The Tao of Steve”. “The Tao of Steve” is a list of exercises that is an infallible and surefire way to get a guy/girl to like you. This movie was originally introduced to me by my best guy friend, who to say used to be a player, would be putting it mildly. He is now settled down with a very lovely and intelligent girlfriend, so kudos to him. But when he introduced me to this film, I was mesmerized… this even seemed like something I could maybe do, because it leads from intellect… and I think I have some of that, woohoo!! (Disclaimer: emphasis on the SOME there). So here is the way to play the game, and keep in mind, this is a step by step process, so you do one after the other:

1.  The first thing you do after targeting your potential soulmate, is to be absolutely and completely desireless towards them. Act like you have zero urge to be with them physically.So #1: Be desireless.

2. Show excellence in their presence. This happens after you’ve shown them that you are desireless towards them. And it can be anything from showing your skills at pool, to revealing your philosophical side, to showcasing your panache for cooking, or even how well you play with puppies and kittens. See I like this one, because it actually helps to have a personality (I have this new theory about how a lot of guys like girls with no personality or sense of humor… but more on that later).

3. Retreat. So, just when they think they’re getting to know this amazingly talented person that has zero desire towards them, you disappear all of a sudden, make haste, don’t call or write. You retreat damn’t! So that when you finally do pop back up, they certainly don’t want to lose this amazingly talented person again, and hold on for dear life.

And that’s it… that’s all the advice I have to give. I love the Tao of Steve one, but there’s one problem in that for me, and that’s number 1… I have way too much desire damn it!! I can’t be desireless, I wouldn’t even know how to begin to not have desire!!! But I want it to work, and if, and that is one big IF, I can actually find some dudes to put these awesome tips to use… you know I’m gonna! Starting with the “leading with your womb” one, cause we all know it’s the easiest. 😉

So, I currently have zero guys in my life, which equals zero attachments. I’m free as a bird, and I have to say it feels pretty good (aside from when I get that certain urge “down there”, I’m talking about being horny!)… but I’d rather be alone than with someone that doesn’t appreciate me for the little weirdo that I am. And you never know when that can change in a heartbeat… or more like a flutter of heartbeats. And when I do find him, I’m gonna date him so hard. 🙂

Standard

Update on the “Date Guy” aka WHY CAN’T GUYS TALK?!

Just  to recap a bit: In my last post (well second to last entitled Experiment #2) I talked about a guy I went on a really nice date with. I really liked him, and thought that he really liked me. He texted me the day after the date, and then after that, nada. I texted him twice thereafter, and he responded but was short. He said he got “busy with work”, and oh yeah, is now leaving TOMORROW for Chicago for two months. After tomorrow I will finally be able to let the whole thing totally go… aaahhhhhh freedom…

So in my last post I said that I was going to call him on Thursday if he hadn’t called me, because I’m at the point in my life right now where basically I don’t give a shit! I am ALL about communication, or at least trying to communicate! Sheesh, it now seems that trying to communicate with a guy is like trying to play darts with spaghetti… it’s hard. And so that was proved once again, when I tried calling him. I couldn’t wait until Thursday as I started freaking out, wondering if he had possibly found and read my blog, and if THAT was why he lost interest! So I called him on Tuesday, and this is what happened:

I called him. He didn’t pick up, and I didn’t leave a message. Soon after, I get a text from him saying, “Hey! What’s going on” So I text him back, “Just wanted to say hey before you left, but I guess sometimes I’d actually rather talk then text, crazy concept huh?” So he texts me back, “Ahaah I think we talked about this. Yeah I get it. I just got home from work so I’m a lil beat. How you doing” And that was it… was I about to respond to that?! No, I was not. I mean, you can’t actually talk on the phone??… sometimes guys will do whatever they can, anything and everything to avoid communication, and just putting things out there. I understand that it takes ACTUAL BALLS to BE A MAN and talk to a girl, and answer her questions on what went wrong. But he’s probably thinking, “I don’t owe her anything” and he’s right, he doesn’t… but that means that he’s also kind of a coward.

There were definitely some red flags anyways with this one. On our date, he asked me if I hooked up with this guy, and I didn’t so I said no. Okay, that was a fluke and I let it slide. THEN he asks me if I hooked up with this other guy, WHO DOES THAT ON A FIRST DATE?! Okay, so I did hook up with this second guy, I’m 29 years-young, I’m not a virgin for christs sake!!! So I told him the truth. That made things awkward for a bit and it was his fault for asking.

So, through all of this, I learned a valuable lesson that we should all remember. When you are first getting to know someone, if you do one thing that irks them the wrong way, they will most likely be over it. It might just be ruined. That may sound a bit harsh, but think about it: If you’re hanging with someone, it’s new and you’re just getting to know them and then they do something that’s weird to you or that you don’t like, you might just be over it also. I wish I could have found out what that thing was with him, whether it might have been something I texted him, my blog, the fact that I did hook up with that guy, who knows! But at least now I know that when I’m just getting to know a guy I should probably be on my best behavior! By this I mean to be cautious about the things that you say, and to not reveal too much (especially NEVER tell them that you have a dating blog!) 😉 My number one belief is still to ALWAYS be yourself… but now I’m adding, and on your best behavior, to that!! 😉

Standard