Story Time Children: The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

Disclaimer: If you are in fact a child, you should not be reading this.

I have been PMS’ing these past couple of days (haha sorry dudes!!), so naturally I’ve been feeling nostalgic. I’ve been having all of these dreams and thoughts about people from my past, parties from many moons ago, and men that have come in and out of my life. Wait, switch that, I mean boys, not men.

So, with all of this nostalgia running through my veins, I thought that I would share with you, dear readers, one of the worst and one of the best dates that I’ve ever had in my life. Let’s start with the worst… and save “the best” for last.

One of the worst dates I’ve ever had was with a Doctor. You would naturally think that dating a doctor would be one of the best moves of any girl’s dating career, and excited I was, as it was my first doctor ever. The only one more excited than me for this date was my mother, of course. This was actually already kind of our second date. The first time we hung out, after meeting at a bar, was just for drinks and it went very well. He was extremely handsome, drove a very nice car, and was actually older than me!! That’s right, older than me (those of you reading this that actually know me will not believe that, and I accept that).

So, once again, I was excited to have this second date with the doctor. So, he picks me up… everything seems great, and we head out to the restaurant. Sushi is on the menu, which I find, like most people, to be a sexy kind of food to eat… and I was ready to feel sexy. By the time we got to the restaurant the doctor had begun sweating, kind of profusely, but I let that slide. We were seated right away at the restaurant, and then immediately following, the doctor excused himself to the restroom. Okay, that’s normal. But what wasn’t so normal was that he then spent probably, oh, the next fifteen or so minutes in there. I think the waiter came to our table twice during that time, and I really didn’t know what to say.

When he finally returned to the table he was sweating even more than before… like his face was pretty red and sweat was glistening off of it. I tried to conceal my expression, which was probably a mixture between confusion and horror. Obviously I didn’t conceal it too well, because he then felt the need to explain to me exactly what was going on with his body… in great detail. Apparently as soon as he turned 30 (and that’s why I don’t date older guys ;p) he began to have very strange bowel movement problems that had really been affecting his stomach, and thus his dates, he revealed to me. Now this guy was a doctor, so he then felt the need to get all scientific about it, and actually explain in great detail what was going on inside his body. I seriously wanted to throw up at this point, and we hadn’t even eaten. Both of us had a hard time eating that night: him because of his “bowel movement problems” and me because of having to listen to him talk about it.

I actually felt sorry for the guy though (I mean that really sucks), and have been accused of being overly nice, so I didn’t show him how disgusted I felt. I went along with it as much as I could and even played it off like it wasn’t a big deal. I think really, for me, it was the sweating that really got to me. The craziest part was that after all of that, dropping me off at the end of the night, HE ACTUALLY TRIED TO KISS ME!! I let him peck me, which was not easy, and I think I then pretty much slammed the door in his face. I think he got the point.

I know what you’re thinking, poooor doctor… but poor me!! That was supposed to be like a totally cool, marriage material doctor for me to rub in people’s faces. Oh well… and I haven’t dated a doctor since, go figure!

To calm your now probably repulsed nerves, I will tell you about a great date I once had. And it did also involve sushi.

There was a guy that I had had a hugeee crush on forever. I thought he was such a heartthrob, but he had dated this girl I knew for a long time, so I could only admire him from afar. Whenever we would see each other though, we would get along really well, and the night would usually end with him teaching me how to beatbox. Well they broke up, and I didn’t see him for a long time… that is until one of us found the other on facebook (maybe it was even still MySpace at that time… yeah I just said MySpace!!).

We began talking and we exchanged numbers. Right off the bat he was texting me things about how he had these very strong feelings for me for some reason. He just had this “feeling”. This was really exciting to me as I’d never had a guy be so forward with me, especially one that I was so unbelievably attracted to. He asked me to come out (okay, he didn’t have a car waa waaaa) to see him that night and go to Sushi with him. I couldn’t refuse. I was schvitzing by the time I got out to see him… butterflies were swirling all around inside my stomach. But when I saw him it was all so comfortable. We had a great dinner and conversation, as if we’d done it a million times. It just really felt right.

After dinner he said that we should take a drive down to the beach, and who was I to argue. I liked that he was a guy that took charge and made decisions! He also wanted to drive… okay! As we were driving through the canyon down to the beach, he suddenly looked over at me and told me to kiss him. I said, “You want me to kiss you right now while you’re driving?!” He puckered his lips. We shared our first kiss then. It was funny, but pretty great.

At the beach it was beautiful, and dark, and cold. We grabbed a blanket and headed down closer to the water. We talked a lot walking around, and then finally laid our blanket down and started making out. It was something I had wanted for so long, and it was sooo good. So basically we ended up doing it right there on the beach. HA! I was totally not myself that night!! But he really brought that side out of me.

We ended up dating for a year after that, and I shared many firsts with him. The person that he ended up becoming is a whole other, and much more sad, story… but I will always have that perfect first date. 🙂 ❤

Wow, now I’m feeling REALLY nostalgic.


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