Drinks with An Actor (…and why it never happened)

Living in L.A. (born and raised) I make it a point to NOT date actors. Okay, sure if any celebrity actor wanted to take me out, I would probably not say no… okay, or if the guy was super hot. Well, this guy is pretty cute, some girls would probably say that he is hot, but he’s a little metro for me (I’m thinking that this is also a quality of actors? haha). Anyways, he wouldn’t let getting a drink go, so finally I relented.

It’s already not starting well however, for many reasons. Reason #1- I’m pretty sure that he has a girlfriend. Guys with girlfriends trying to hang out with me on a “more than just friends” level is no bueno with me! I mean, I am the type of girl where I will not only reject you if you have a girlfriend, but I will actually chastise you with your manhood and make you wish you’d never gone out with me in the first place! So we’ll see about that one muah-ha-ha… Reason #2- He wants to get drinks. I’m 29 years-young, and I am at that point in my life where I want to be taken out on proper dates dammit! Is that really too much to ask for?? Drinks?? Really? Okay, well fine, we can get drinks, but don’t think you are getting ANY sort of action with drinks. (Disclaimer: If I was really attracted to a guy, he would probably get some action with drinks) Reason #3- His texts are really annoying. He has said the phrases to me, “aren’t you too cool for school” and “thanks for fitting me in Ms. Popular”. Both of those things are HUGE turn-offs, am I right?? It made me feel all icky and weird inside when I read it…

Okay, so obviously at this point I’m thinking that this is purely a “friendly” drinks meet up… and in no way, shape, or form is it anything more. He is really sweet, so I’m thinking, maybe he is just secretly gay and then he can be my new bff. But then he texts me a few hours before we were supposed to meet (at the point where I was already thinking of excuses to cancel) and tells me that an audition just came up and he can’t make it. I said no worries at all, and that we would reschedule. I knew at that moment that I would never be getting drinks with him, I was magically let off the hook, and that was a sign.

But the texts wouldn’t stop. I realized that what was really eating away at me was the girlfriend thing, so finally I just called him out. I asked him if he still had a girlfriend, saying that’s what was really bothering me. He told me that things were “cooling off” between them but that they were still in contact. And then in the next sentence he states that, “but he is still fully available”. What?! The guy just completely contradicted himself, they’re merely cooling off, still in contact, and he’s fully available?! Does he even realize how this looks to me?? Apparently not, because he continues with his texts…

I really tried to be nice about me not being interested, telling him that we are obviously in two different places at the moment (read: so stop texting me and get the point!), but he couldn’t let it go. Then he sent me SEVEN text messages in a row with me not responding. I finally told him, sorry but drinks are still a no. I am way too nice! He asked why, and I appreciated him actually being curious. I had just wanted to know why the last guy I went on a date with all of a sudden stopped calling me, but he was too much of a coward to even talk to me, so I wasn’t going to be a hypocrite. I sent him a long text telling him why I wasn’t interested, with the most sincere honesty. He responds with: “I just figured you weren’t attracted to me :/” That’s all he cared about?! This guy really is an actor!!!

Our conversation ended with him telling me that he was going to give me a month, so that he can prove to me that he is fully available, and then if I’m still single he’ll take me out.

So I have a month to find a boyfriend. 😉

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8 thoughts on “Drinks with An Actor (…and why it never happened)

  1. Jessica,

    Don’t accept Texts as forms of being asked out by.

    Don’t text long paragraphs to boys in general – they don’t get it. They aren’t girls.

    As a rule always assume that if a guy asks you to drinks he isn’t interested in being just friends UNLESS its specifically business but even then don’t be surprised if at the end he asks you out on a date.

    Good luck finding a boyfriend – be confident be fun be brave be bold.

    • All great advice, thanks Elyse! 🙂 My best guy friend (who used to be a big player) recently explained the do’s and don’t’s of texting with guys. His #1 rule was: keep it short and sweet! So true about guys, but so hard as a writer haha!
      I wish I didn’t have to accept texts as forms of being asked out, but I feel that’s the only way they do it these days 😦 but, I still think as a general rule, that’s great.
      And thanks so much for the well wishes, I love what you wrote, and something amazing for all girls to always remember 🙂

  2. Pingback: He Had A Girlfriend But I Didn’t Care - The Good Mother Project

  3. Pingback: He Had A Girlfriend But I Didn’t Care - Parenting And Mental Health

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