As I sit here on a Saturday morning, fairly early as I did not go out last night, I am thinking that it’s been awhile. It’s been awhile that I posted, been awhile since I hooked up with a guy, been awhile since I dated someone! I had a really nice date last week actually… I mean this was a real date at a nice restaurant! How often does that happen any more? And I have to say I really kind of like this one. We have a lot in common, and he’s a writer, and a nice Jewish boy… we even knew each other when we were in elementary school, so bizarre! But alas, he’s gotten “busy at work” and oh yeah, is leaving next week to Chicago for two months. Oh brother, can’t a girl catch a break? He hasn’t even really been texting me any more, although when I first met him he pretty much seemed like he was in love. Story of my life.
Also, I was in Vancouver this past week with my family (my beautiful, brilliant cousin got married), and on this trip I became very observant of relationships. Let’s put it this way, I was basically the only single person there. Yeah, I was “that person”. This cute 22 year-old was trying to talk to me at the wedding, but I wasn’t into it. Holy crap, me, Jessica Fuks, doesn’t go for the cute 22 year-old?? Wow, maybe I am growing up and maturing. No, that’s not it… I was just so infatuated with the guy I went on a date with (and hoping he would text me, which he never did) that I just could not be bothered. Yeah, that’s it.
So anyways, I was observing relationships. My own parents divorced when I was 9 years-old, but two of my Aunt’s have been happily married for practically forever. And pretty much all of their children are in beautiful, committed relationships with loving partners. Another one of my cousin’s is getting married next year and they are seriously the perfect couple. So I was thinking, I am blood related to my Aunts, aren’t I? And they are the women of the family, as am I. So why can’t I use them as my example, and take after them? They will be the one’s I look to, to see how a wonderful relationship works and use as my road map in love and life. I also have some friends whose parents I’ve grown close with that share incredible, lasting relationships. These couples are my greatest inspiration and I am so grateful to have each of them in my life. With so many people coming from broken homes these days, including myself, we must look to whomever we can for inspiration. If it is their truth, then it too can be ours as well.
Okay, so enough of this ultra, super duper cheesiness. It’s Saturday morning and I must focus on the now, and by that I mean tonight. Tonight I will go out, and hit the town with my girls. And of course, there will be an experiment. My goal is to give my newly printed cards out to three guys. I will give an update tomorrow to say how things went. But that is my goal, and I’m stickin to it! Until then, hittin the beach!
Update: This experiment was an EPIC FAIL! I didn’t even go to the beach on Saturday… it was really overcast. I mean my life, it’s overcast. Both my friend and I had forgotten that this weekend was all about a music festival taking place in downtown L.A. The bars were barren, I mean void of any sort of attractive human males. There was literally not one single guy I would have wanted to give my card to. Now that I’m thinking about it, maybe I tricked myself into believing that to let myself off the hook. Maybe. But I really did try searching.
With the epic fail of Saturday night lingering, I thought I could make up for it by doing the experiment the next evening at a BBQ I went to with some friends. There were some cute musician guys there, but yeah, I’m pretty much a failure. And then I got a text from a guy that used to be purely a booty call for me, wanting to go to the movies. So I went. I didn’t even give him a card!! And then we didn’t even hook up, which I figured was the point of us hanging out? It’s cool though, I think he just wanted to break the ice since it’s been awhile. I had a really nice weekend, especially Sunday, but I must beg to ask the question… Where is my mind right now?!
It is now Monday, and I read an article this morning about spending the next 30 days surrendering to love. I think it was just what I needed. Just allowing whatever comes to you in, and jump right into it. Surrender yourself to the Universe, and to love, and give up the control of your life to an energy that will guide you perfectly. I strongly believe in this, and starting on this day, and for the next 30 days, I am surrendering myself to whatever comes along. Here is the link in case you’d like to try the thirty day challenge yourself: http://thedailylove.com/one-of-the-greatest-spiritual-tools-i-know-of/
Further Update: The weekend has come and gone, and the guy I went on a date with a week and a half ago, still hasn’t called or texted (mind you he did text me the day after the date, so I thought it went well. And then nothing). I seriously don’t get it, and am truly wondering what went wrong in his mind. If only for my own piece of mind, I will attempt to unmask his own truths behind his actions. I am going to wait until Thursday (as he’s leaving for Chicago the day after), and if he still hasn’t called then I am going to call him, and try to get it out of him. So, stay tuned eeekkkk! 🙂